mysore->bangalore->mysore..:)

hello..loong time..lifes changed so much in 2 months..god i have changed so much..i feel this sense of freedon and dis thing that i never felt b4..being alone can b fun..i am learning so much abt life.. all of a sudden i have been thrown out of my comfort zone..but its fun..as i am doing so many things i never evn dared to do..i earn my own living..spend it my way..n do watever i feel like..

but ya there r times wen i weep like mad..wen i miss my amma appa n snehlu..but then nothing can b perfect rite..lifes like that rite...neways catch ya all lata...

some where in between...

hello all..i am in infy campus now..n dunno wat to do pretty jobless i must say.. have some assigment of writing a book review n stuff.. so i was surfing.. so i tot y not pass time by blogging....i am bored anyways..
lifes k..as far as i can c.. have made some frnds.. just killing time.. my tech training hasnt started till now..so i am just sitting doing nothing..frm hotel to campus and frm campus bak to the hotel...thats all my lifes all abt for now..i guess will get busy in the cuming weeks.. i am happy as i will b a lil occupied..right now i am damn sleepy.. have to go to the library and kill time..prolly i will get some sleep...k neways..c ya..
tata,
sangeetha.

going to mysore...

hello..i am going to mysore..its a new phase of my life..i am going to start earning n working n stuff..i am kinda excited...but today when i was spacking all my stuff..i remembered my childhood..the time i had with my mum..dad was always out on transfers n stuff..i remember sitting in the comfort of my house ..watching tv..laughing with my sis..watching stupid cartoons with her..eating popcorn with her..crying with her..fighting wid her..shopping wid her..her super fashion tips to dis stupid ol gal who doesnt knw how to dress..n no style acc to her..hehe.. amma making me tea..our lil chats in the kitchen...her advice to me abt boys..hehhe..n a lotta other things..her kickings wen i lazily sleep for 24 hrs non stop... the way me n amma laughed together...our horriable fights...hahah..n her care , love, suppot, effection..a sense of security arnd her...that i am loved.. the way i cried for 3 hrs non stop wen dad shouted at me..lol.. n the way dad took care of everything..the way i tot he cud fix nething for me...i remember him supporting me , being there for me..caring for me...the way he made me tough girl that i am today..n helping me learn how to live wid dignity..i will miss everyone..seriously..i knw i am just going to mysore..but sumhow i knw lifes going to change a lot after dis...n i guess i cant control tat..neways...i am off to sleep now..have to catch my bus tom..tata..
sangeetha..

hmm....

its a scary lil world out there... have u ever dreamt of things that are going to happen?? or c things in ur dreams that r actually true n not the way u c it..mind my friend..is a powerful thing..never underestimate it..if u constantly dunt keep a chk on it u mite lose ur way...n mite even destroy ur whole life..

there r so many things in my daily life i do..perhapes thats my destiny...i knw in my mind that sum things will never work out n sum things will..n i guess everyone has that..even though they ignore their intutions very often...these r not mind blocks..but these r things which help us find our destiny ultimatly... its very wisely said "the heart has its reasons which reasons know nothing of"..i strongly believe in it..i do so many things in my life that i have absolutly no control over.... i knw sum things feel so right..but sumwhere at the back of my mind, there is this strong feeling that says no matter how gud it feels now..its not going to turn out right sumwhere.. i have folllowed these lil signs always..n watever wrong or right happens is our destiny..these r things that teach me how to live.. and makes me a betta person...

so many ppl i talk to tell me god does not exist..but this is wat logic will never explain to u..its just sumthing ..deep in ur heart..if u listen carefully enuff..u knw that sumthing controls u..sumthing tells u wats the outcome of certain things..and gives u a meaning to ur life..

our existance here is not meaningless.. we are all empty sumwhere.. y r we here for?? wats our purpose?? there r so many things in my mind that logic cant explain..logically everything has a meaning so perhapes , even our species , our survival everything here has some meaning..we r just not flesh and bones.. there r so many ppl who tell me then y do so many ppl suffer if god does exist?? i dont have a proper answer, i just knw that its our karma.. god never punishes us, its our perspective of looking at things.. a poor man may be much more happier than a rich lonely man.. but this is not the case always there r ppl who truely suffer here.. n i really wonder y..

but wen i c nature, n how beautifully its made.. n how perfect it is..i have to agree that there is sumthing that u n me cant create...n there its not just me who can control everything..i can perhapes accept life as it cums n b happy..or i can live n cry.... its easy to say diff to follow..so i am basically wasting my time n dialoges.. i will save it for sum other time..haha..:)..tata..

Alicia Keys Live

i love her voice n i love her music..n especially dis song..one of my fav..

The Lion king Timon and Pumbaa- Stand by me

its a real funny video plus i love dis cartoon.. n plus i absolutely love dis song..:)...so i tot i will put up dis cute video...

What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

a very good song and really nothing beats the origina even though so many new versions have been made..:)

mumbai!!

appa i am bak.. mumbai..wat shud i say..every minute i was there i wanted to run bak to bangalore.. not that mumbai is a bad place.. but u knw no place is like home.. awesum.. but the best thing abt mumbai is fashion street.. hehe.. cheap clothes.. i cudnt believe it that i cud buy all the stuff that i wanted for such cheap prices.. and the beaches.. ya they do need cleaning boss.. but nm.. who can resist the pani poori walas and the pav bhaji..just too gud..
can u believe it ?? i saw amitabh bachans house..heheh... n i saw lata mangeshkars house.. i knw i sound like a stupid 9 yr old.. but i was so excited..
my best experience was when our taxi got stuck rite in the middle of the puddle in the rain on our way to the airport.. i had to run around with my bags in the rain water.. but as i said b4 it was gud fun.. then i tot i wud never get bak to bangalore when i had to wait for 5 hrs for the plane.. because it was raining like mad.. but i am so lucky to be bak.hahah..
all in all gud fun..but i loved the feeling wen i was bak in bang..:)

hmm...

"selfless life pure and true,

wish i could give everything to you,

i want to share my love and give u a lot of hope,

so that u can start dreaming too."



we are living in a place where people are too busy and running too fast.. i run too.. and sometimes i dont even see what is really important..city life is busy life.. people are involved with there own lives..trying to fulfill there own dreams.. and i guess we have no one to blame as each one of us are just trying to survive..



but sometimes i really wish i would just stop and really enjoy life like the way it has to be... and wish i cud just let go of my inhibitions and fears abt myself and others...

sometimes in life we loose trust in others , we have lost that innocence that we had once when we were kids.. our hearts get broken.. and we build walls... but i guess thats no way of living life.. we always think something magical is going to happen and change our lives forever.. but honestly the magic is in us... even the truth is in us.. the secret to happiness in all in us..

but so many times we think we dont deserve to be happy and loose so many things in life.. and i have been a victim of this so many times.. we dont want to believe that good things can happen to us.. and when we dont believe in ourselves we are left behind...

as i live my life i have just one wish.. i have this deep need within to change someone elses life.. make them a little more happier.. i have eveything..honestly everything..great parents , a loving sister and very nice friends.. and truely i am blessed.. and i still crib so many times abt some things that r not really important..

we get so caught up in ourselves that we dunt c that so many people around the world have nothing at all.. they have to struggle to get a days meal.. and if i have gone thru anything in my life it can be nothing compared to their pain...

i do believe in god..but when i c so many people in pain..it questions my faith in him sometimes.. but these are the mysteries of the world.. and this is the truth in the silence that we wish we could understand.. but some things are beyond our control..

its only that life is mysterious ..i dunt knw if i will ever find what i am looking for and i really hope i do.. because all of us are empty somewhere and are somewhere trying to find the answers within us...

here it goes...

ya i love writing and there have been many moments in my life when i knw no one can comprehend what i want to say or do..and prolly lots of ppl dunt understand me... but then i really dunt and cant clearly scream my feelings out loud..wen sumone hurts me i cant even tell them how i feel..with the fear of hurting them and prolly with my own fears of being wrong..sumtimes or most of the time there are battles in my mind...i get very lonely sometimes , dunt feel like neone wants to listen to what i want to say..there have been millions of times when i have just remained silent when ppl have hurt me, but so many havent understood my silence and have their on perceptions of not really been bothered and being insensitive abt a lot of things... but when i was younger i used to find a lot of relief in just writing my heart out and then i suddenly shut down again..but here i am again writing, this is what makes me really happy..:)..heres a poem that i wrote long time ago... i think when i was in 4th sem..it was those moments when u just want to run away and wen ur really frustated...
here it goes..

the road...

i was walking down this road today,
like everyday i know things are the same...
empty faces empty smiles,
broken dreams and silent cries...
many a times it may seem,
this road is too dangerous to walk in...

but there is still that sun shining on me,
but there is still that old tree to give me shelter from the rain,
still that cool wind that passes me by,
still that old song that makes me all right...
still that ray of hope in every cloud..

hope i do everyday,
hope that things will change,
hope that love will come my way,
hope that i will be better than what i am today...
life doesnt always have the staright roads,
you may fall get hurt and bleed,
but each and everyday just remember,
that if u dont have those bumps,
that road is ...empty...

cya all ,
tata...

blues...: :(

today i am not feeling alright...hmm and i have to share with someone...sometimes we just live our lives like there no tomorrow..we get so involved with today that sometimes when tomorrow actually comes we find it hard to accept it... sometimes we wish the good things that happen to us never end...but everything ends..and sometimes the good things always end faster..
the bad things seem to last forever...

we have all these phases in our lives, when we are younger we go to school , then we go to college..then we find a job and ultimatly get married .. do we really ever wonder what the true purpose of our life is?? is this y we were born just to follow the rules of people and society.. y cant we live our lives in our own terms..y does everything have to be so monotonous...???

when i was young always thought my life would be big.. and may be diffrent from what it is today.. but somehow this is an ordinary life..no i am not talking abt the money and fame..
i thought it would just be diffrent...

like nowadays i feel this aweful feeling of my independence being taken away... there are things that i really dont want to do... probably i am not even ready for such things.. but i have no other way out or no other excuse to find a way out of it..

i really dont want to live this life that i am living..just for an instant i want to be free, from this bondage and attachment and all the obligations.. but somehow we all know its not possiable.. we all live for each other no matter how free we want to be... we cant live a lonely life.. its tough because at some point in our lives we have to do things we never want to do..but thats how life goes... and thats how most of us live by just accepting life as it comes... but if its us who are living our lives y is it so hard just to live it for us... just for a moment..probably that moment might change everything... and probably even that change is our destiny...

hello everyone!!

hmm hello everyone...my first time here...
abt me i just wrote my final engineering xam..n hopefully engg is over..:):):)...and going to start working real soon...i am very excited abt that...i dunt want to brag nonstop abt myself so lets get to the point..
the only reason i am here is coze i wanted 2 tell me story..it funny how life changes when u least expect it to..i dunt knw big words but watever i am going to type right now is from my heart..
never thought i would do engineering , never thought i would change so much as i have today..
when i was 14 ,was not really serious abt life..nothing mattered much to me...i was carefree and happy perhapes..
there was no stress, there was nothing at all to worry abt..but now as i am 22 things have started looking so crazy.. God i wish i cud get back...
had a tough childhood but then now when i look back i think everything happens for the good..
i was always a dreamer and even now i am , but somehow all these dreams are lost along the way... life can be tough..now let me not sound soo negative..i have had tons of good times too.. I believe in God the most , he takes care of me and everyone else.

a very important part of my life my amma...i can go on and on and on..believe me i can. and words are just not enough...i really dunno where to start..i think i never really understood her..had so many misunderstandings..had soo many fights!!! god!!:)... shes the only one whom i expect too much from..only one who gives me a shoulder to cry on, only one who knws me... i know as a i grow older all my friends will disappear..when i need someone the most i know who will be by my side..
shes the most geniune person on earth..shes honest and straight forward.. she loves and loves so unconditionally.. i cudnt have asked for more... when i am facing and fighting the battles of life, i see so many people who try to cheat me and so many who try to mislead me... but then my mum shes so innocent , hats off to her... .. and she has gone through so much to take care of the both of us.. god i know i can never be like her..she is the bestest.. b4 dis gets a lil oversentimental..let me stop here...tata.. keep smiling!!:)