Timeless on a river bank

how long has it been?? its too long i say to myself..
It is a dream i told myself...There is a voice in my head that tells me.. don't live this way..
it was a beautiful evening.. it is beautiful all around, the sun's setting and there i am sitting all alone in a cottage.. probably thinking about how life passed me by, probably thinking about all those moments of joy and failure.. all is good.. life's a beautiful paradise... may be my soul is thousands of years old...its turning all dark and there is a beautiful garden in my yard.. a thousand trees surrounding me..
i start walking down a lonely path.. i realise i am not afraid this time, afraid of anything.. afraid of anyone hurting me or any one's opinion..
its misty and cold and there is an old tree i pass by...may be a hundred years old.. may be even it has seen a million things , of millions of people passing it by.. a thousand people with probably broken or beautiful lives... may be its watching me and wondering what i am doing in this forest ..

i am alone , and i have no one to share anything with..its a magical place.. i am attached to nothing and i am just a bird probably with space needed to fly i am thinking.. there is no fear.. there is no hatred.. all is only pure and peaceful...

i wander in the darkness with no sign of light , i am wondering how God could create so much beauty, with everything so diverse, everything so unique.... whatever he did, no one could ever do a better job. He made thing just beautiful.. The smell of fresh soil when it rains was all that was surrounding me...

As i am walking down that narrow path, there is a sudden shimmer of light gaping down a hole..
staring at my face, like it was living .. It looked like it was welcoming me with warm open arms...

i walk towards that light wondering where the paths leading me to..I see a beautiful pond with all shimmers of gold and silver.. there is sunlight falling on it, and sparkle just dazzles me, my still heart skips a beat..
I sit down there and i watch, and wait. Like i was waiting for something.. Something that i have been waiting for all my life now.. I wait and i don't move..I know that i have come home to something, and probably found something that i will remember till i take my last breath, and there he was , sitting down the same pond as me, probably waiting for someone to arrive just like me..
He sat beside and told me beautiful things about life, and what my purpose here was, and i was wondering in my dreams whether it could really be true, that all the things i don't understand are what will be explained here. Here in this silence, everything seemed real. There is no difference between life and death. The both are the same things..Life is all action and the reaction to life itself is death..

As he sat down and explained life to me, i for a moment wasn't trying to understand and analyse everything. For a moment may be not for long i didn't want to be anywhere else but here.

But then the dream didn't last. I woke to realise that life's the same way it was. May be i will find true love and may be i wont, but then the journey of life itself is so beautiful that i have nothing else to understand and analyse so much, probably take things to my stride and live each day like it was my last..
life is amazing that's true.. It is like we have a mould of clay, we have all these experiences , we are bent and twisted , may be we are shapeless in the beginning, but then in the end we turn out right, in our own astonishing ways.

I wish i could go back to that dream and just walk down that road again, or probably that path is set for me in my life itself.

C u all,
lots of love,
sangeetha