hi

dunt let hatred fall upon you like the pouring rain,
let not the tears burn ur skin and soul,
dont crouch in the fear with your wings of freedom burnt,
let not your heart sink in defeat and with hopelessness,
let not that one stroke of fire, wipe away the happiness you felt when you saw the sun rise up..
because the sun will rise up for you one day...


is it just a blame game? Seriously are we just going to blame each other for whatever happens in our lives. Today i was outside a mall and i saw a group of youngsters laughing and singing "Zombie".. Then i saw the happiness and enthusiasm they sang it with.. that joy in thier eyes and the way they clapped and sang and danced with each other for world peace..

We are all free.. no one can take away what was ours always... They cant hold us hostage of fear.. So what if we die tomorrow.. i will be happier dying free than being scared of someone wiping me away from this world...

They can take away our lives, they can take away and burn our spirits down... They can kill thousands of innocent people they can do whatever, but they definatly cant bring down our human spirit...What point are they trying to make? Sadly they can do all this and still never find the peace they want to...Never will thier counscious ever sleep in peace.. Never will their nights never be filled with anguish...
What have we done to the world? How can anyone hate so much? It breaks my heart... But still we have hope, may be every bad thing has a good lesson.. We may be will know with time... But somehow all this doesnt make me happy.. I am still wondering how so much negativity can wipe away our happiness..

Wars , guns , bombs , it is depressing.. Werent we born out of love..?. Then when did hate creep in? Isnt it a strange little world, when we see people like us slaughtered mercilessly... Where did love go...?

Nov 24th

hi ya,
wassup??? Cut my hair again...:DI lost my mobile..
I pierced a second hole in my ears....:D...
Going through each day... Very very boring these days..

Take care all ya,
Sangee

sunday-16th nov

just a thought...Dunt know what i really want from life...

hey ya,
wassup???
What do you feel as the sun rises up the sky, the way it feels when the waves crash against your feet. The way it feels when a baby smiles...The way it feels when the rain drops fall on you when you are asleep..
The way it feels to just lye down and stare at the blue sky or hear the whispers in the air.. To know that there is depth in sea...
What is it behind that restless sea.. Beauty in that tree's shade that you want to shelter in..
Shelter in the heart of something so beautiful , to feel safe just for a moment, to trust someone with all your heart... To love someone with all you soul? How does it feel to feel the pain of someone else, when it touches you and crushers your heart.. Or just the sound of the rustling leaves when you are walking down a lonely path ,in a dark story night...
How does it feel to cry you heart out in the moment of joy?
Its a celebration just to be alive...
Never know what's ahead...

hi ya,
A warm day not much work and a hell lotta thoughts in my head.
i am hungry and i am planning ahead.
Well for me i have to get somethings sorted out in my life. First need to quickly get some certification done, which i have been planning for months now and it doesnt seem to be working for me:)..

I need to start studying again... Well ..Its a toughie:)... To decide some things in life:).. But i dont have to make it so difficult:).. I am probably not ready and it's a good thing not to be ready infact, that means God's deciding it up there, just for you.

i have wasted so much time in sleeping and having fun I think it is time to wake up and do things that will get me higher:)...

Sleeping in the sense putting my mind at sleep, expecting something flowery to come along.

Life is full of sacrifices, never regret a decsion made or things that went bad. If you really wish for something it will land on ur doorstep, if at all you ever wished hard enough for it.

That all depends on us , the patience we have and the tests God will put us through, because nothing in this world comes easy.

Life's best gifts dont come in the most attractive ways. We all love, lose , hope, win and that's the part of life. Now i wish i had done some things diffrently but then now i know that it was for my growth as a person and as a human being.. All that we become is result of all that we were.
i really have to want somethings and go through life as it comes, and sadly i will never truely get what i really want, and imperfections are there in everything.

There are 2 things, things might turn out well in the short term or in the long term just have to see what is best for us and live life that way, and expect nothing from life.

Love ya all,
sangee

Your Song

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=mTa8U0Wa0q8

Wow it's putting me to sleep..:)...

Life is a song:)

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=tt4REiGB_-w&feature=related


You say life is a dream where we can't say what we mean
Maybe just some roadside scene that we're driving past
There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness
Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending
Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From the chains and shackles that they're in
Oh, tell me what good is saying that you're free
In a dark and storming sea
You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul
But at the end of the day when every price has been paid
You're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold
And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go
Oh, it's time to let go of everything we used to know
Ideas that strengthen who we've been
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds
From chains and shackles that they're in
From the chains and shackles that they're in
Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

A cute cute video:)

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=12Z6pWhM6TA

The man in my life:)

The pride of his deep brown eyes,
His wrinkled smile,
You taught me the number’s I know,
And how I used to get it all wrong.
I remember the story you used to tell me
To put me to sleep,
I remember every night you spent,
Nursing me when I got sick.
I remember that every day you spent,
Making sure we were okay,
You were standing outside and watching
Me write that tough exam that made me a nervous wrek,
I have heard every silent prayer,
Your every loving word,
Your guidance , your love,
You are in my heart forever,
From the baby steps I took to the woman I am today,
You were there when I needed you,
Ever so silently, then why did we go apart,
We started livin in our silent worlds,
I missed you each day,
Then you are back again,
And here to share our little world with us again,
And I am glad you are back daddy,

words could never define what we share,
I owe a lot to you.

lot's of love
sangee,

26 OCT 2008

Hi All,
Its not a rainy day in Bangalore , a perfectly beautiful sunny morning. I wake up listening to Yanni, then i do my usual yoga. Then i had my breakfast and tea in my lawn :).. A normal beautiful day..:)..
Here i am sitting and typing away to glory, don't even know what's going to be there the next moment.I am planning to run off to meet my friends in the evening .

Tomorrow is diwali and a beautiful day of course(As i get an extended weekend off:p). I am going to get to wear my new clothes also.:)

Everything is going fine for now.:).. I am looking forward to watch good old movie on TV.
I saw 3 movies this week, "A Wednesday(A must watch)","Flight plan","Troy". I love Brad Pitt:(... Then wat else..???:) I am bored to death till 4.. So i am just typing all the non sense i can because i don't know what else to do:)..

Ne ways A very very very HAPPY DIWALI to who ever is reading.. Have a lovely year ahead.. And please wish me too..:):):)
Lotsa love n wishes,
sangee

As on Oct 22nd

Hi,

I was just wondering what to do and thought why not pen down what I am thinking about.

I was the kind of person fighting and over analyzing every situation, now it seems like I am just happy for the present moment.
Ups and downs lows and highs everything is a part of life, and life never turns out the way we wish it would. We never get perfect things in life, and that’s the fact.

The more we try to drive away the devils in our head the more complex things get. One thing I should realize in the course of my life is that I will never be perfectly happy and even if I am ,that situation will change and life keeps changing.

If I have issues with someone else the problem is with me too, I have to learn and learn a lot more in life.There is no point in being so confused that’s life. I can only give in my best and hope hard that things turn out in my favour.

I have seen my share of failures and rejections and unhappiness in life, but then I realize it was all for my good. I have seen many trillion sunny days too and I am grateful for every moment of my life because it made me the person I am today and I am happy life turned out this way. The only area that I want to improve in is to get the courage to share my life with someone else. I am the kind of person who has always been scared of relationships because I was scared of getting hurt, but the sad part is I will be left all alone if I choose to go on this way. I have to find that strength in myself to probably give away a part of myself to someone probably that way I will be much happier and probably not so scared of everything, it will be the biggest fear overcome.

When we go through life we all know that we all have our fears and I was and am not a perfect person , but then what makes me happy about my life is that I am learning and no matter how much it scares the hell out of me I am learning and still learning.

My silly, stupid pride is my worst enemy and probably that’s my biggest fear in life , of getting humiliated, I would have gone much further if I could give up this “dumb”, “stupid”,”lousy” fear of mineJ.

When we choose not to do things because we are scared of getting hurt the more that thing follows us all over, and when you run after something it will never come to you.
Amazing enough I have been a very lucky person in life, may be with my initial failures which give me the strength to get up and fight again. I am a fighter may be a different kind of fighter but I have come so far because may be somewhere I have a lot of strength.

J take care,
Lots of love ,
Sangeetha

Timeless on a river bank

how long has it been?? its too long i say to myself..
It is a dream i told myself...There is a voice in my head that tells me.. don't live this way..
it was a beautiful evening.. it is beautiful all around, the sun's setting and there i am sitting all alone in a cottage.. probably thinking about how life passed me by, probably thinking about all those moments of joy and failure.. all is good.. life's a beautiful paradise... may be my soul is thousands of years old...its turning all dark and there is a beautiful garden in my yard.. a thousand trees surrounding me..
i start walking down a lonely path.. i realise i am not afraid this time, afraid of anything.. afraid of anyone hurting me or any one's opinion..
its misty and cold and there is an old tree i pass by...may be a hundred years old.. may be even it has seen a million things , of millions of people passing it by.. a thousand people with probably broken or beautiful lives... may be its watching me and wondering what i am doing in this forest ..

i am alone , and i have no one to share anything with..its a magical place.. i am attached to nothing and i am just a bird probably with space needed to fly i am thinking.. there is no fear.. there is no hatred.. all is only pure and peaceful...

i wander in the darkness with no sign of light , i am wondering how God could create so much beauty, with everything so diverse, everything so unique.... whatever he did, no one could ever do a better job. He made thing just beautiful.. The smell of fresh soil when it rains was all that was surrounding me...

As i am walking down that narrow path, there is a sudden shimmer of light gaping down a hole..
staring at my face, like it was living .. It looked like it was welcoming me with warm open arms...

i walk towards that light wondering where the paths leading me to..I see a beautiful pond with all shimmers of gold and silver.. there is sunlight falling on it, and sparkle just dazzles me, my still heart skips a beat..
I sit down there and i watch, and wait. Like i was waiting for something.. Something that i have been waiting for all my life now.. I wait and i don't move..I know that i have come home to something, and probably found something that i will remember till i take my last breath, and there he was , sitting down the same pond as me, probably waiting for someone to arrive just like me..
He sat beside and told me beautiful things about life, and what my purpose here was, and i was wondering in my dreams whether it could really be true, that all the things i don't understand are what will be explained here. Here in this silence, everything seemed real. There is no difference between life and death. The both are the same things..Life is all action and the reaction to life itself is death..

As he sat down and explained life to me, i for a moment wasn't trying to understand and analyse everything. For a moment may be not for long i didn't want to be anywhere else but here.

But then the dream didn't last. I woke to realise that life's the same way it was. May be i will find true love and may be i wont, but then the journey of life itself is so beautiful that i have nothing else to understand and analyse so much, probably take things to my stride and live each day like it was my last..
life is amazing that's true.. It is like we have a mould of clay, we have all these experiences , we are bent and twisted , may be we are shapeless in the beginning, but then in the end we turn out right, in our own astonishing ways.

I wish i could go back to that dream and just walk down that road again, or probably that path is set for me in my life itself.

C u all,
lots of love,
sangeetha

Poem:D

the beautiful dreams around me i built,

fragile and deep,

no one can ever come in here,

for as long as i live,

for the things i see no one can,

for the way i feel no one can,

the sweet scent of flowers in the garden of life,

the silent tears that everyone cries,

the depth of pain and pleasure,

the moment we realise that loneliness in the biggest fear we have,

the day we realise that nothing can be bigger than our own inhibitions about life,

we are set free and we break the chains that hold us back..

listen to the heart,

it has a million secrets,

listen to the soul,

it will set you free...

and that's what i want to be,

to be set free...

Sangeetha

hi ya!! SEPTEMBER 20th

hi all,
its been a loong week.. and a very boring week too... life just so monotonous.. i do the same thing everyday.. i was reading this amazing book "Brida"... Now that keeps me thinking the whole day.. " soulmate" these are things i stopped thinking about and probably dont believe exist.:D
but honestly.. the book is amazing.. makes me want to think again.. well nowadays.. i am running so much.. it seems like i am running away from myself..
feel so disconnected from what i really am.. but then this is better than thinking endlessly about things that dont really exist probably:D..
hmm i planning on a lotta things right now.. and some how nothing is fitting in. have to give some certifications.. prolly find a better job.. or start my higher studies.. do an mba probably.. well lets see what lifes got for me..:D>. i am sooo confused about so many things and yet seemed have to have made it till here..:D.. so lets see whats there in the next bend:D

cya all love ya all,
peace,
sangeetha

hi ya july 29..

days go by and i am wondering whether i am really that person who i think i am. whether i am just trying very hard to be something else. there is a fine line of diffrentiation you know from the person you are and whom you really want to be..
We may put up a thousand masks, a thousand fake smiles, i just cant believe i am the person i have become.. i couldnt hurt anyone.. i never have.. how did this happen...??? it was never in my control i am so sick and tired of the guilt. i feel like some situtations in life cant be controlled and the more i try to hang on, on the end of that rope.. it just kills me.. i am so tired of being sorry.. i have made many mistakes but wy do i judge someone so cruelly when i am not perfect myself?/ why do i say things i dont mean..?? why does all this break my heart so much..:(..we have plans ... we think life will go this way and that way. our goals our beliefs.. and all of a sudden, you are thrown in the corner to tell you like it was a joke on you , that nothing goes our way in life. the more you think and dream about a perfect life, and imagine that tomorrow will be better than today, its a big lie. my perfect life is just today. i rather live in this moment than in any other, i cant be more happier than today.. i will reamin sad even tomorrow even if i got the best things in life, because thats the way i may be. i have hurt and i have been hurt, its just that some things are not meant to be, they are all just expereinces for something bigger , it gives you an insight into your future mistakes.i am human after all and its in me to make mistakes, but then not to that extent that i never learn from them, but somewhow i neever seem to get the lesson right..:p...may be i am notperfect but i do try really hard everyday.. i bet on my life that , that begger on the street is having a million times worser problems, and i am just self pitying way too much.
lifes extremely strange.. and the more i analyse and try to take control of it, it just spirals away out of my control. i cant live a life according to me, things change , circumstances change, the same person whom you waited to talk to everyday might be the one person you never want to talk to again.. but thats the beauty of life. nothing remains constant because if it did, we would all lose our will to live, and there would be nothing new to learn.:)
why i am i writing this? because i am pretty disgusted right now, i am sad basically. so here i am writing here again..:Dcheers!!love and lots of love,sangeetha

poem..:D

pages of time flipping by..i am wondering whats there in the end of that bend..a thousand mistakes ,a thousand smiles..i tried to be perfect,i tried to be somebody else,i tried so hard..but i realise..accepting myself is the best way to live..

i walked down that dark stormy forest,and now i am sitting on the edge of that hill,with the cool wind passing me by,i hear the sound of the most beautiful music...i know there are silent whispers in the sky..

the storm in my mind has finally ended..i have to forgive myself before i forgive others..i just have to live and accept life..lifes a full circle we return to where we started...life is beautiful and i realise nothing is perfect we mend with time...
---Sangeetha Mani

june 27 2008

hi ya,
wassup there??? :D...here i am again talking things that dunt matter to ne1.. updates..:p.. i started learning violin again.. i am so super happy about that.. update 2.. started yoga again...i am so happy nowadays.. its getting wierd now...:D
now wat the hell.. neways.. there one thing in my life thats the best thing about my lfie right now... it makes me so very happy that i cant start explaining... just the presence of those few people arnd me makes me super happy.. agggain..:p...those lil kids.. they make my weekend.. they are just super.. update 4.. we are moving to jaynagar..yipee.. all my friends are there...
i will miss this house.. n all those days i made growing up so tough here..:p..
well neways.. so many updates.. and so many things happeneing.. my lifes like changing real fast...
i plus i learnt a lot more... i am less of a tension party now.. i am able to knock off people bothering me.. i am able to speak up!!:D..i am glad..
hmmm.. then wat else?? there is nothing much here neways...

gud day ppls..:D

hii yaaaa:p

hi all,
hows everything there???? loong time eh?? real looong time.. c i am bak in bangalore.. went thru my ups n downs n learnt a hell lot.. lifes kind of a breeze right now.. thats good.. when all the madness finally settles.. and when u r finally not trying to figure out the madness in ur head..
lifes like that.... i am working and i am ahppy and all that.. but suddenly i am not thinking too much about life.. i am at that point u can say where i just want to go with the flow.. just no thinking and i have changed.. got a new haircut..:p...
no i am not talking about all that.. just that i am wondering now sitting here in the night(crazy me???).. where the hell is this journey going?? none of the pieces fit in.. its like a big puzzle u know.. i keep wondering and wondering.. n nothing makes sense.. but i am just not trying to figure out..:D..
i guess i am just confusing u???:D
well.. getting to the point... we all have our theories and notions our perceptions and things in our head.. a million thoughts hitting our head in a day.. but god knows where we are goin.. we areally dont know.. its better to just go with the flow.. and just take it easy... we cant control our lives all the time.. otherwise we all would have things we want.. but lifes not like that.. its probably a little complex.. but the more we think about it... we get lost...
well neways.. i dont know where my life going to.. but whatever ..i am strong enough to face the strom or whatever comes ahead.. because there is so much to learn..:)
keep smiling..
tata,
gnite...